As much as I’m much happier in my personal life nowadays, I cannot help but begrudge it. I feel like I’ve now become a crutch. I’m the person someone now relies on for their happiness. And after spending 3 very long years realising that happiness depends on myself, I’m starting to resent it. 

I feel like I’m being conformed. I’m expected to make the tea. Each and every night. And I am forced to be thankful if I ever get a night relieved out of the kitchen. I’m supposed to be grateful. I’m supposed to be grateful that a grown man has utilised natural skills to fend for himself. I am not that girl. I want this to work out forever, but I’m struggling internally.

He makes me unmotivated. He makes me feel bad about myself. He tries to change me. For as long as I can remember I have had my routine, and for someone to tell me no, I want to rebel. 

I don’t want to change. I want to be me. 


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